One in three women, one in four men, experience physical violence from partners

Domestic violence: It’s a pervasive problem in almost all communities.

It also contains deep stigmas that keep many victims silent.

National figures show that one in three women and one in four men experience physical violence from partners.

Paula from the Lafayette House in Joplin says that figure shows domestic violence is more common than many realize.

“People are embarrassed,” she says. “They don’t want to talk about it. They have a lot of shame.”

She says for both men and women the signs of abuse are often subtle and easy to miss, especially early-on.

She says it involves more than just physical violence.

“It covers the span from emotional, financial, everything in between those, those, those areas,” she states.

“It’s a complex power and control issue where an aggressor can start with just small little things, comments made to undermine to doubt, make the victim doubt that they really understand what’s happening in the relationship,” Paula adds.

She says at least one partner often uses “gaslighting” to hurt the other.

“Part  of that is to make the victim doubt that they really understand the scenario or understand what they have said or done in that situation and become blaming themselves,” she says.

“That’s the intent of that manipulation,” she comments. “It can start very small. It almost always progresses to much more serious types of violence.”

She says often friends and family members outside the domestic arrangement may be the first to notice that something is wrong. Signs of abuse include isolation, personality changes, and making excuses for a partner’s anger.